I recently read an article on Reddit about a family who was being torn apart over a stocking. The story goes like this. The man married a woman who had a child. The mother-in-law of the man hangs decorative stockings for all of her grandchildren at Christmas time. Yet she refused to hang a stocking for this child because he wasn’t a blood relative and she didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of having a stocking for someone who wasn’t really part of the family. The wife took a stand for her son and refused to attend the Christmas party because she didn’t want her son to feel left out. The husband’s take on all of this was that his wife was overreacting. He felt it was just a stocking and no big deal.
What the husband failed to see in all of this was that it wasn’t just about the stocking, it was about inclusion. It was about creating a sense of belonging for his stepson and his lack of awareness was tearing his family apart.
I know there are countless stories similar to this as people continue to take stances for or against any number of things in today’s divided society. One group of individuals stands out in my mind as continually experiencing this type of dismissal and social rebuke, neurodivergent individuals. While I have no way of knowing whether or not this boy was neurodivergent, the sense of exclusion he experience tugs on my heartstrings and echoes through my mind as I recall my own experiences of feeling left out because I was different.
As I have been speaking and giving workshops about the topic of supporting neurodivergent learners in higher education contexts, I am awestruck by the number of individuals who approach me afterward. Some to thank me for allowing them to feel seen, to be understood, and to know that someone cares. Others have shared their heartbreaking stories with tears streaming down their face, grateful to finally have someone willing to listen. And at the very core of each and every story is a truly beautiful person who simply wants to be accepted. They want someone to see them for who they are and to tell them that it’s ok to be themselves. And in reality, isn’t that what everyone wants?
So as we go about his holiday season, I implore you to seek out those who you often see sitting by themselves. Offer a greater sense of compassion for those who seem to be having a difficult time. Offer love to those who seem unlovable. The holidays can be an especially challenging time for some people, but you can be a light in the darkness for them simply by sharing a few kind words or perhaps by hanging a stocking for them.